This seems like the most obvious and predictable starting point. Considering. *I started this post at the start of April and then stupidly forgot to post it, as a miniscule piece of history.*

I’m luckily than some others, my employer fully supports working from home. Once again, I’m extremely grateful that I’m a civil servant. It is lonely; I’m acutely aware of the lack of social interaction. Something I find bizarre as I don’t generally like being around people.

But it’s boring, as things are not what they are supposed to be. I recently moved into a new position and the four weeks or so I experienced before lockdown, only gave a small hint at the kind of things I’d be seeing and dealing with, and now I can’t do any of the normal aspects of my (new) job.

I actually booked the week off that happened to fall within the first week of lockdown, when I realised I might well go mad with not “working” , but still working.

I’m not reading more, nor learning more, nor exercising more, all of which I could easily do with the new flexibility to my days. Instead I’m lying in bed more, boozing more, and procrastinating to new epic levels. I’m trying not to mentally beat myself up too much nonetheless. That part is the hardest to do.

I have realised that I’ve been spending far too much money on my way home each night in a very particular supermarket, as now I don’t have that as an option, I have money still in my current account at the end of the month. Which is a first.

I’m genuinely scared to actually go outside, (still at the end of official lockdown). I’ve been out maximum of twice a week since the start of this. Which means my fitness has suffered, and that has scared and sacred me. The half-arsed plan to complete the Walk 1000 Miles Challenge within a few months has been defenestrated. I’m anxious of contracting this virus; I have deep and possibly well-founded scientific, suspicions it will hit me hard. And as it looks like it isn’t merely a mild issue nor a just a respiratory illness.

I keep forgetting that I can’t just nip around the local shops to pick up whatever I want/need whenever I like. Something I’m finding particularly hard to deal with. I know that’s a terrible first world problem there’s a couple of reasons behind me feeling angsty about it. I don’t like people, but not being do the things I want to do, when I need to do them, is quietly winding me up. I had a small hint of this a couple of years ago when I was forced from my own stupidity to be stuck at home. Then, I was longing to go out and walk whenever I wanted, wherever I wanted, because I physically couldn’t. Now I’m being told by the government that I can’t do things. (I would never have survived Communism, mostly because I would have drunk myself to death.) With the passage of time, the frustrations I once felt have passed. I’m now, at the beginning of July 2020, fully adjusted and the idea of going back to normal equally scares me (still high risk) and horrifies me (normal working day?? Are you kidding me??!)

With the new shopping experience, there appears to be greater levels of judgment about what items I’m buying, more so than usual. I find myself to having to mentally justify buying anything by picking up “essential” items each time. Perhaps I’m being overly conscious about the whole situation. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to queuing outside shops, when I know that the store inside is mostly empty. I am being overwhelming annoyed by, what seems to be, every other bastard out there, the people who are failing to social distance once they’re in a store, despite all the advice/warnings and “helpful” floor markings.

What I am certain about is that the long term implications of the lockdown will be felt for some time to come. The ways of working for some will have been radically changed, possibly permanently. My sector has pushed on in ways that its being dragging it’s heels on for years. (we are only just seeing the economic fallout from Covid-19 on this, and other countries, and Brexit bollocks is only going to make things worse)

Many businesses are going to disappear, several big names have already succumbed to insolvency and entered into the administrative process; industry will gradually recover, but I doubt it’ll ever be the same as it was. And we haven’t even hit the shite-storm that is Brexit yet.

Live events, be them sporting or not have disappeared from the landscape. Glimpsing decades-old football or snooker on the beeb is an oddity; are sport freaks feeling withdrawal symptoms? The world of TV has generally taken a bit of a bizarre turn, I never thought I see inside so many celebs bedrooms as they chat to someone on a sofa.